I grew up in a family of 5 members: my parents, my brother, my sister and me. I was the youngest and my age was very far from my siblings’, I have a gap of 15 years behind from them. My family is not perfect and it’s not the “ideal” happy family that we all see from TV or Movies. We would never hear “I love you” in the family in a vocal way.
As I was growing up, I felt that something was not right. I noticed a lot of differences between me and my parents, and me and my siblings. In times that my parents will scold me for doing something wrong in their eyes, I would feel so different. I felt I do not belong to this family and that they don’t understand me. I felt they couldn’t relate to me that’s why I ended up having the thought of leaving the house for good. But of course, I didn’t for I was still young at that time and I didn’t know how to take care of myself yet. With all my negative feelings inside, I kept silent about them and didn’t even bother thinking about my feelings so that I could live a happy life.
This lead me to trying to please my parents so that I will not be “wrong” in their eyes, because for me that is all that matters, to get their approval and love. I tried my best to be the “ideal son” for the family but of course, like any other lazy, happy-go-lucky person who has a lot of bitterness inside, I wasn’t able to live up to their expectations. But I did graduate college and was able to work a full-time job with part-time jobs on the side so I can give more to my family. After a few years working, there were needs for an identification, and I only have a driver’s license as an I.D. and we are required to have at least 2 VALID IDs. So I asked my mother “where is the passport that I used before when I applied for a U.S. Visa?” She gave a very hesitant answer of “wala ka naman passport ah” or in English “you don’t have a passport”. But I can remember before, that when I was young, young enough to be carried in the arms of someone, me and one of my Aunt went to the US embassy to apply for a US Visa. With this, I already got a hint that they might be hiding my passport from me or they are hiding something else… I didn’t ask for my passport once from my mom, but countless of times. I figured she might remember it, find it and give it to me. But to no avail, she keeps on saying the same thing.
One day I decided that I have enough money to treat my mom out on her Birthday, so I invited her in a buffet restaurant. As we were eating, my mom opened up our talk with “may sasabihin ako sayo, wag ka magugulat” in English, “I need to tell you something, don’t be surprised”. Right there and then my heart jumped, but I wasn’t that surprised, for I know what she was going to say to the point that I even said, “ay, alam ko na sasabihin mo” in English “I think I know what you’re going to say” and my mom was shocked saying “how did you know?” But I didn’t say anything more and told her to go on. That’s when she told me that I was adopted and they were not my real parents. I wasn’t surprised because I already had a feeling that I was when I was young, and I secretly saw my adoption papers when I was in High school. I didn’t mind what I saw, I guess I was in denial and didn’t want to believe it. I prefer to believe the latter.
I told my mom this and told her I want to know is why I was adopted. So she began explaining and told me that I used to be a child who was always sick and it costed a lot to get me medicated almost every day, my sickness could kill me if I’m not treated. My biological parents would always bring me to my foster parents to ask for financial help so that I can be treated. After several visits of my biological mom to ask for help, my foster mom/tita during that time suddenly uttered “kung di mo kaya alagaan yan at ipagamot yan, akin nalang, ako mag aalaga” In English, “if you can’t take care of him, give him to me instead”. In the process, I was left in my foster parent’s home and was being taken care of, but my biological mom would keep on coming back to our house crying because she misses me and wants to see me. The only time she was allowed to see me was if I was asleep.
After several visits of my biological mother, my foster mother said “kung iiyak iyak ka lang diyan palagi, kunin mo nalang ulit yan” in English “if you’re going to continue crying over him, just take him back”. And so I was taken back, but my biological mother got scolded by her extended family, telling her “bakit kinuha mo ulit? Di mo naman yan kaya buhayin, mamamtay lang yan sayo”. My biological mother was faced with a dilemma now to choose whether to give me back to my foster family or keep me and risk death upon me. She decided to give me back to my foster family, and they talked among themselves that if I will be taken in as a their son, it should be done in a legal way. So it was done, legal matters started and arranged, signatures were fixed and I was considered an adopted child.
Throughout my life I would have never imagined being one of the few people that would be considered as adopted. Seeing “TV shows” that depict adopted children or child, it was sad to think and watch these people. But I was actually one of them.
I praised God that I already knew Christ, the day that my mom confronted me with the truth, I received it in a mature way, with love, kindness and peace towards my family. Indeed I can safely and proudly say that God was at work ever since I was born and up until today and that turning point in my life, He was there, he protected and sustained my heart. With all of these, I was able to accept the truth with ease and peace.
Learning that being adopted grants me to be an intestate heir of my parents, meaning, I have the same rights as my foster siblings to my parent’s estate even if they don’t have a will. This right can’t be removed or revoked since I was legally adopted, this made me a “Biological” son. I had to cry out to God and thank Him, for He has already secured me from even before.
Adoption is defined as “the accepting of a child as one’s own”. In a theological way, “The choice of God in eternity past to bestow upon the believer all of the rights and privileges due to one who is a son of God”.
Romans 8:14-17 “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again;rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
With the things that I have learned through my walk with the Lord, and DGROUP, I was in awe and very thankful. For not many people can experience what I have experienced. Being adopted in real life, and now being adopted by God and being called as “one of His children”.
“He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will” Ephesians 1:5.
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1
I’m Rocky Velasco, a sickly child that would have died but through adoption was made well. Before an estranged child, but through Christ adopted and restored. A child with nothing to gain, through adoption had inheritance. A slave with no rights, through adoption in Christ, now free and made co-heir with Christ. To Him be all the glory and praise. Amen.